She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
