Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
