I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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