he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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