I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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