he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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