look no pants
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
