obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
