Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
