hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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