Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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