So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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