as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
