Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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