Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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