I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
