Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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