why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
