HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
