how can u be prego again
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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