yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
