As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're like the curious george of whores
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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