S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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