I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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