Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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