i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
only if we run a train.
done.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
