These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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