Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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