just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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