Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
