It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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