he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
