She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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