Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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