i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
