Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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