U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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