Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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