she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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