my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
