the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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