I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
