Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
