Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
tequila makes me forget i have legs
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
