so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
