yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
