I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
