I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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