i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
