I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
